Unfinished Business
Chinello Ifebigh
With whom or in what aspect of your life do you have unfinished business? Why?
An unfinished business is an incomplete circle, recognizable by it’s one outstanding characteristic: the lack of (a sense of) closure; the absence of culmination. An unfinished business is an absence of answers; a missing piece of one’s soul or property or story.
Having unfinished business with a person or a situation means that we have an energetic attachment to an old relationship, an unfulfilled promise or an unresolved issue.
Unfinished business fills one with tension and a profound restlessness. It is an emotionally charged state of perpetual transition: a journey without destination. An unfinished business is like a black hole. It eats energy and drains you.
You know you have unfinished business with something or someone when you experience one or more of the following:
Having unfinished business with a person or a situation means that we have an energetic attachment to an old relationship, an unfulfilled promise or an unresolved issue.
Unfinished business fills one with tension and a profound restlessness. It is an emotionally charged state of perpetual transition: a journey without destination. An unfinished business is like a black hole. It eats energy and drains you.
You know you have unfinished business with something or someone when you experience one or more of the following:
- Inconsolable grief
- Regret
- Inability to move on
- A constant sense of “If only”
- A reluctance to explore the subject
- A (mental) obsession with the subject
- An unmet need
One can attempt to resolve unfinished business by actively exploring the past and by confronting the person(s) involved in one's unfinished business. The outcome of this method is uncertain: what counts for you as unfinished business may not hold true for the other person. Very rarely can other people provide us with the validation or answers we so desperately seek.
It is rarely possible to resolve an unfinished business solely with the source of the situation.
Often the resolution of an unmet need or validation is no longer technically or geographically possible when a person is involved. This means that one has to resolve the unfinished business by alternate means of closure such as rituals, conversational sessions, empty-chair dialogue or systemic work.
Whatever means is employed, the goal is always the same: finding and experiencing a sense of closure. The good news is that closure, also known as acceptance and peace of mind, can be achieved from alternate sources other than the original cause of the unfinished business.
As humans, we are innately capable of giving ourselves the validation and redemption necessary to complete the cycle and finish an unfinished business.
Lichaamsgerichte therapie in combinatie met gesprekstherapie: werken volgens het Triadic Model.
Haptonomie en knuffeltherapie twee vormen van lichaamsgerichte therapie om emotionele en fysieke blokkades op te heffen.
Bij knuffeltherapie zijn zowel cliënt als therapeut actieve deelnemers van het proces; ten bate van de cliënt. Je raakt aan en je wordt aangeraakt.
Liefdevolle aanraking maakt veel los bij mensen. Knuffeltherapie is jezelf aanvaarden en de ander ontmoeten zonder masker, zonder pantser. Het is zeer krachtig en kwetsbaar tegelijk.
Naast de behoefte aan praktische handvatten is er na een traumatische gebeurtenis ook veel behoefte aan troost. Je krijgt als slachtoffer wel veel nuttige informatie en ondersteuning maar weinig troost; daar zijn de reguliere hulpverleningsinstanties niet voor.
Ieder mens heeft behoefte aan genegenheid en erkenning. Over menselijkheid en huidhonger binnen de GGZ. Aanraking, een basisbehoefte.
Over omgangsvormen in een tijd van dickpics en online schandpalen.
Duurzaam werken: heerlijk verscholen tussen de bloemetjes en vogelenzang komen cliënt en knuffeltherapeute heerlijk tot rust.
Nee is ook een cadeau: Over eerlijk en integer communiceren voor jezelf en voor de ander.
Hoe is het zover gekomen dat we een ander nodig hebben om ons te leren hoe mens te zijn?
